Thursday, May 1, 2014

Helping Children Process Fear

Young children look to adults to help regulate. You composure and acceptance helps children to regulate their emotions so they can problem solve.Think of a time you felt scared, your partner was out of town and you heard something outside your bedroom. This big overwhelming feeling came over you as your mind and emotions raced out of control. You tried to calm from the logical side of your brain but the fear, as irrational as it is, wouldn’t subside. You know that genuine scared feeling, the physical reactions you have to fear. Emotions are all new to children and they are extreme.

What support do you offer your child when they are fearful? Excited? Tired? Overwhelmed? Angry? Consider these emotions in yourself. What type of support to you need when you’re feeling big emotions? How would you feel if your partner, parent, or friend didn’t listen to the way you felt and tired to tell you it was no big deal. Your child is going to experience big emotions in their life. Your roll is to keep your calm, give them words for the big feelings they have, and listen. Resist the urge to save, fix, punish, minimize, or dismiss. Say to them, “Breathe with me. You can handle this.”

Coach children to work through big emotions, keep your composure and show them you will keep them safe. Once they are calm you can problem solve. Becky Bailey has an awesome coaching video we highly recommend checking it out!


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